Saturday, August 23, 2014

Building a life

I love when I find something I wrote a year, or more, prior and can see the ripple of change the writing has instigated in my life.  It's like a stone cast into water.  The stone sinks out of sight, but the water has been displaced, causing a wave of movement outward. 

This happened recently.  I found a piece I'd written shortly after attending a workshop.  Being in the presence of a woman whose writing saved my life twenty plus years ago was like coming home after a very long, difficult journey and finding loved ones gathered with a bountiful meal and a joyful embrace.  Her voice, her presence, her dedication to the creative process, and to women especially, nourished and awakened, soothed and celebrated.  And though I tried to hold onto this energy, it faded, as all things do when not constantly fed.

Or so I thought.

At that workshop I made a vow to honor the path of all people, within my reach.  To encourage and support internal wisdom of self and others.  In the writing after the workshop I spelled out what that looks like for me.  And in finding the writing two days ago, I realized much of what I wrote has come to pass or is currently in the works.  Even more so, it gave me direction when I was feeling a little lost this week.


The prompt for this writing was: If I could live the life I want, how would I live?

If I were to live my life the way I want to, I would get up in the morning and ease into my day (most days).  I would either go to the gym or run or swim each morning.  Then I would have breakfast and do some writing.  I would write about living soulfully, giving generously, offering your gifts and talents and service with a whole heart, because that is all there is really.

Originally, September 30, 2013, the rest of these statements read “I would”, I would write…  Today is August 21, 2014, almost a year after the original writing.  It occurs to me, these are the steps to creating my new life.  So I have changed the “I woulds” to current tense, I write…and wow!

I write about art and about women and creativity.  I write about the birthing process – both art and babies.

I do healing work – of the body and mind and spirit.  I teach people how to listen to and care for their bodies.  How to let go of trauma.  How to free the body.

I practice yoga.

I cook and learn new recipes.

I garden and grow vegetables, herbs and flowers to be used in both the kitchen and the treatment room.

I travel to see my kids and my family.  I love them openly and completely.  I nurture my relationships. 

I travel to Europe, to Italy and France and Spain. 

I help build beautiful spas around the world, creating concepts and treatment menus that reflect the area and the culture.  I consult with spa directors on building a healthy spa culture.

I assist new mothers in making choices that support them and the baby and their family.  I empower women to be who they are, know what they want, listen to their internal guidance, and trust they know the way.

I teach young women the feminine process, the creative process.  I empower them to follow their own true path, even when it appears foolish to their family, or friends, or to themselves.  I am the medicine woman for my people – the scar clan, the women who face struggle and keep going.  Who love their art so passionately they will do it in small spaces and behind closed doors.  They will give voice to the child spirit who sings with innocence, loves with abandon, and rests in the bosom of the soul. 

I do not let others tell me I am not enough.  I do not settle for places that make me small.  I give voice to the power of the True and wondrous.  Shout from the rooftops that Creator is alive and well in me.  I walk humbly and easily among wealth and poverty, for I am not afraid to shine my light where I am needed. 

I write about women who matter, men who matter, children who matter.  I sit with the pain of loss, of fear, and of exhaustion.  I reach out and hold the hand of those who think they can go no further.  I bring hope and love to the lost, to the dying, to the fearful.

And I do not look back on my life as a failure, but as a journey that took me through addiction, recovery, lessons, joys, awakenings, challenges.  I use the pain of my story to sit with others in similar pain.  I rejoice with the celebrations of living, of getting up to do one more day, hoping one more hope, praying one more prayer.  I am confident with my family, for I know the young ones watch.  They pay attention, they know.

This is how I live my life going forward.  Say the truth, live in my soul.  Share wherever I can.

If you were to live the life you want, how would you live?